Is anyone out there?

That question can take me lots of different editorial directions, but for now let's leave it at "does anyone really read this?"

Now, I know that writing this blog is just as good for me as it is to the few of you that actually keep up with it. The reason I ask is that it's been pretty quiet on the comments and email sending, so it makes me think that no one is out there. Just let me know that you're there and maybe I won't feel so weird writing my thoughts and my life out in the big, huge world of the blogosphere.

Moving on and considering my previous post was quite introspective, I will make every attempt to keep this one informational.

Danny's progress in Beyond Therapy has truly been picking up speed (I have attached another gaiting video for your viewing pleasure from March 13th). As most of you or perhaps none of you know, I only work part time. Mondays are my errand/Corbin days and Fridays are my take Danny to Shepherd days. This schedule works well and allows me alone time with both my boys. I have a love/hate relationship with Fridays. I love to be with Danny and see all the progress he makes, but I hate it for him that it just takes so dang long.

For the most part though, Fridays are great because I get to get the firsthand scoop from his therapists on how he performs earlier in the week. Well, a few Fridays ago, I got a huge surprise. Candy (super-therapist) asked me if Danny had told me about his 10M test, which he, of course, had not and to which she was shocked that I didn't know. What is a 10M test, you ask. Well, it means that Danny had to walk 10 meters (imagine that) using the standard walker with only one assistant. And, he did it. I was thrilled to say the least, but it really hit me when I saw a before and after clip.

Nick (super-therapist 2) showed us a clip of Danny gaiting on 12-24-08 with three assistants; one on the stool behind him, one holding/guiding the walker and another helping him keep his trunk upright. And, just two months later on 2-24-09, Danny walked and succeeded in his first 10M Test. See? I told you things seem to be speeding along quite nicely now.

Another boost in the hope department came from another "patient" who is not apart of the Beyond Therapy, but who works out in the gym each day. I'm not even sure what his name is, but let's call him Joe. Danny was walking up on the track one Friday with the Argo while Joe was walking his laps around the track. Joe has a spinal cord injury that he suffered six years ago when a scaffolding fell while he was working on it. Joe is dedicated to his workouts. I mean, he sweats through his shirts and is always there when we're there. I admire his work ethic. So, while Danny was taking his laps with the Argo, Joe would walk a lap holding onto the railing and then he'd come and rest in the chair next to me which is when I got my dose of hope.

Apparently, Joe has only been able to "walk" for the past year and when he first started, he said he couldn't even walk half a lap without taking a rest. So, he's been where Danny is in some ways. Joe has seen Danny progress and as we're watching Danny work with the Argo, he looks at me and says "it won't be long now." Inspiring. That meant just as much to me as what I hear from Danny's therapists, perhaps more since Joe has literally walked this path. "It won't be long now" rings in my head when I get a bit gloomy. It won't be long now.

In all this work, we've had some fun too. Check out the snow in Atlanta on Sunday, March 1st. This is the view from the balcony in our bedroom. Yes, that is a cemetery, but we like it. They're quiet neighbors. It's too bad this pretty scene didn't stay very long. It is beautiful from the mountain.Check out these pics I snapped while we were watching American Idol last week. Boys being boys and awesome moments caught.

We were also blessed with a visit from my dad this past week. I was thrilled because I was able to make it a surpise for Corbin and for Danny. It never really is a vacation for him since I usually give him a Daddy-do list and he was on hand to help take Danny to therapy too. If you remember, my parents were just here during the holidays and my dad was amazed at Danny's progress since he was here at Christmas. He says it's like seeing a different person. Another boost of hope. Here are a couple shots while he was here.

One more thing before I give you information overload, Corbin and I are headed to the beach next week. I'm so excited and can't wait to feel the sand between my toes and the sun on my face. The last time that happened was one month before Danny's accident and I was 7 months pregnant with Corbin. I have a feeling it'll be just a bit different this time, but then again what isn't different about our life since then?

Just the Pits

Ever hear that southern phrase? 'It's just the pits.' Honestly, this Atlanta-born girl isn't quite sure exactly what it means or how it came into being, but I do know it's supposed to imply that whatever "it" is is not good.



There are also phrases like 'pit of despair,' or 'bottomless pit.' No matter how much I rack my brain, I can't think of a good reference to a pit. Perhaps some are void of anything close to moral symbolism, like NASCAR and pit row (no, really, please don't send me emails about the origin of pit row. My dad would be the only person who'd care).



So, in the pits we find ourselves, right? Well, I feel like I'm in a pit and I'm reading a great book that solidifies my fears, but I am beginning to see how to get out of this pit.



We were thrown into our pit; not slipped into it or even jumped into it knowing full well there would be consequences. No, we were thrown like Joseph, not by our brothers, but by tragedy. It's dark. It's suffocating; feels like the walls are moving in on us. Is it raining now? Oh, great, now we're muddy and sinking down into this pit further.



Have you ever walked in mud? I mean, "really wet, been raining for days" kind of mud? I remember when I was about 12 we lived at the end of a culdesac. Behind us was an open field that eventually led up to a main thoroughway. They eventually cleared the land to ready it for building cluster homes and that Georgia red clay was unearthed as far as you could see. It rained for about five or six days straight. My brother and I ventured out in our grubbiest play clothes on our ATV, which we then parked and decided to walk. Yeah, right.



Working my way behind Jonathan and carefully trying to stay upright, we huffed and puffed up an incline. As I cleared the crest, all I saw was Jonathan's head and then it quickly disappeared. He'd been sucked into a mud pit and an entire leg disappeared in the earth. I'm not sure exactly how we eventually got him out of that pit of mud, but I know he lost his shoe and we were covered from head to toe in red clay.



When you're stuck in mud, it seems the more you move and work to escape, the more you sink and the more stuck you get. Or, if you're the one trying to pull someone out of the mud, you usually wind up covered it the stuff too. The same is true when you're in a spiritual pit. YOU can't do anything and neither can your buddy. God is the only one who can pull you out of the "miry pit."



This pit that I find me and Danny in is so deep and so dark, so muddy and slimy. Danny is chin deep in the mud and I just keep on pulling trying to get him out on solid ground. The last few weeks, since Danny's nightime spiritual awakening (see earlier post), I have been in turmoil. Like I wrote before, Satan works at destroying what I see as the core to this whole journey, our marriage. Danny and I have bickered more and been agitated with one another. We've just lived with this tension, at least, that is what I feel. There is no name for it or no obvious origin, but I guess it's stress almost embodied.



And, I hit the wall on Friday. It wasn't any huge fall out or arguement, just a comment said in a defiant, disrespectful manner that put me over the edge. Perhaps I was more sensitive since me and Corbin had been sick all week, but the tightness in my throat came and tears began to sting my eyes and I had to get out of there; being Shepherd. I left Danny there with his assistant to complete his therapy and for a couple hours found safety in my car. I cried, sobbed, screamed, yelled and hit my fist on the steering wheel. It wasn't enough so I drove. I ended up at a bookstore; don't know why. I hadn't been there before and absent mindedly wandered right into the Christianity section and right in front of my eyes was the infamous "pit" book that got me here. I didn't pick it up though, yet. I wasn't in a pit; at least in any pit a book was going to get me out of of. I decided to write and I did, pages really. The tears were still there and I'm sure I got more than one second glance as I sat up against a window, writing with my sunglasses still on my face. I bought the book. Why? Well, it's a familiar author, had a comment about God's deliverance on the cover, but it was what was on the back cover that made me pull out my wallet.



Psalm 40: 1-2 reads "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."



God is powerful enough to change our hearts and he knows exactly the best way to do it. He will lift us out of this pit and in Jesus' name He will place both our feet on solid ground where both of us will stand. Looking up when you're in a pit, you begin to see the light. Thankfully, I needed a reminder that Danny is God's child and it is not by my might, power or my strength, but His. Isn't that freeing?



Please continue your prayers on our behalf, but lift up praise for the video below is a brief glimpse in how well Danny is progressing. This video was shot ironically enough on Friday, 2/20.