Bottoms Out!

Considering my previous post was pretty, well, let's just say we could have titled it "Deep thoughts by Allison." So, I thought this post should be a bit more humorous so I've decided to share some rather telling scenes that have happened recently.

First of all, on September 20th, we celebrated Corbin and his 3rd birthday! It was such a fun day and he got lots of good presents. It was also the first time I think he really grasped the whole present tradition. He was really into it, but at the same time, it was important that he clean up the wrapping paper before moving on to the next gift. Everyone together now, "OCD." Now, some of you maybe pointing fingers at me and Danny, but seriously, this kid likes things to be in their place. I'm not complaining because it helps me out so much, but I just hope he isn't on some fainting couch at age 40 talking to his shrink about how he has bad dreams about things being out of order.

Okay, enough of my rambling and back to the Birthday Boy! Corbin is our first "Bottoms Out" contestant modeling his new Plasma Car that he received for his birthday from Grammy and Papa. I'd definitely say that he is the front runner at this point in the competition.

Next up, I'm afraid to say is me. While I am happy to report that I do not have a photo of this incident, I do believe, it has made an impression, at least on Corbin. A bit of background; Candy, Danny's therapist, had told Danny that she wanted him to be standing in his standing frame or sitting in a straight back chair the majority of time that he is at home. So, wanting to be in compliance with her instructions, I helped get Danny up in his standing frame, then sat him in an arm chair at the dinner table. It was the first time, he'd sat down to eat in a real chair and while he wasn't happy about it, we made it through dinner. Now comes the good part.

In order to get Danny back in his wheelchair, we performed a stand and pivot and needed to stand again to get his butt all the way back in the chair. So, up we stand and then, as I assist him to slowly sit down, I squat and suddenly, there was a cold breeze on my bum. My favorite summer weight denim J. Crew jeans that I have had since college and could only recently fit back into ripped down the crack and down both legs exposing my bum to my poor child forced to sit behind me and witness such a mooning.

Thankfully, we laughed and continued to laugh since Corbin began to desperately beg me to fix my pants with a look of concern spread across his cute face. I still laugh at this moment since Corbin has since asked me not to help Daddy stand up because my "pants will break."

Thankfully, the only soul to witness this exposure was Loida who was there to lend a hand in the transfer.

An update in the competition, I believe Corbin is still in the lead at this point, but our third contestant will be revealed in a few lines.

Last Saturday, we decided to break down and take Corbin to a much loved Georgia tradition; the North GA State Fair. And, since we were doing something new, we also decided to ride in a car rather than the van to which point Danny was very excited.

Corbin loved, loved, loved the fair. He went on a pony ride, saw an Albino Python (Mom closed her eyes as she held him up to see in the box), rode many rides and ate his first corn dog and funnel cake. It was a day to remember for sure. A few photos to commemorate....

Oh, the motorcycles! Like father, like son, what can I say? He rode the whole thing with a huge grin on his face while the kid in front of him, whose father was standing next to me, screamed bloody murder. I tried not to laugh while I stuck my chest out in pride for my undaunted child.

The fire engine was another careful selection on this ride of a variety of vehicles. I think it poignant that he is sporting his Georgia Bulldogs jersey and riding in the fire and rescue truck; the Dawgs sure did need someone to come to their aid on Saturday night. I think Corbin could have made fewer penalties.

And, lastly, the caterpillar roller coaster. By the way, Corbin is the kid in the red, in case you couldn't figure it out. Yet another kid sat, this time behind Corbin, crying and screaming for her daddy. So much so, the operator stopped the ride to let her off before letting the other kids finish their turn. Again, if I'd had buttons on my shirt, they'd have been busting.

Okay, I'm finally getting to our third contestant; my darling, husband. As I mentioned above, we'd ventured to take Aunt Kaki's car (Honda Element), to the fair rather than the huge van. This means, of course, we had to transfer Danny in and out of the car. Thankfully, although parking at the fair was in grass and gravel, we were able to pull right up to the front entrance/exit which was paved to unload/load Danny.

So we exited, all tired and worn slap out from the chaos, I mean fun, of the fair. Corbin is hopped up on homemade lemonade and powdered sugar and I'm just hoping this transfer into the car goes smoother than the loading at the condo.

Danny stood up fantastically, but the height of the Element seat, while much lower than most small to mid-size SUVs, was just high enough for Danny that he couldn't get much of a sit in before hitting the seat. Well, while I'm trying to get Danny to pivot so his butt is aimed at the seat I hear him say, "my pants are falling down." In my desperation and fear of reliving past fallings, I respond with a firm "I don't care if your pants are falling as long as you don't fall."

It's then that I realize the seriousness of the situation when I feel Danny shorts slip down his legs. I look down seeing him standing strong, in his briefs, with his shorts pooled at his ankles. He, of course, begins to laugh and I make a quick scan of the many people going into and exiting the fair who have seen this happen, but are trying not to watch the train wreck. Mothers are covering their children's eyes and men are seeing, but don't want to get caught checking out another man in his underpants. I'm snapped back to reality and thankful that Danny stopped laughing long enough that I could reach down and scoot his shorts back up in position. At this point, I just wanted to get him in the car and leave. I was done, but once we got home, we all laughed together and Danny said "you have to write this in the blog." And, there it is, our Bottoms Out Contest.

So, as a recap; Contestant #1 is Corbin with naked plasma car riding, Contestant #2 is me with my new air conditioned denim jeans and Contestant #3 is Danny for dropping draws at the State Fair. Please vote responsibly.

As I close this long and hopefully light hearted entry, I'd like to remind everyone that the 3rd Annual Chopper Classic Golf Tournament is this Monday, October 6th. It is supposed to be a gorgeous day with temperatures topping out at 76, with low humidity and a slight breeze. Come out and join us for all the fun and fellowship. Go to http://www.tgusa.org/ and click on Aflac Chopper Classic for details.

Thank you all! I'll update again next week with more recovery focused information.