Stress

Stress. It comes in many forms. This week it reveals itself as two pimples on my face. I call one of them "Childcare" and the other "Anniversary."

Saturday, August 16th marks the 3rd anniversary of Danny's accident. I hate it. Life wasn't supposed to look like this. I'm focusing on the childcare issue and money, Danny and the anniversary, the pressures of this life and I hate it. It wasn't supposed to be this way. I shouldn't be having to place my kid in someone else's home and trust them to do the job that I want to do. In effect, I'm a single parent since Danny isn't employed and can't watch Corbin on his own. It stinks!

Of course, I can't tell him that because he already feels worthless and so much of a burden. So, I don't even feel that I can share with my husband all that I'm feeling because he takes it all on himself. The one person on the face of the earth that I should be able to be completely vunerable with and all my sharing does is make him more miserable. Makes you just want to lie down on the couch of sharing, doesn't it? "Here, honey. A list of all the reasons our lives are difficult, but really it has nothing to do with you. Don't take it personally." Not happening!

And, since I feel so great today (can you hear the sarcasm?), I've decided to bulletpoint updates.

• Last week, Danny was able to walk the length of the basketball court with a standard walker with only two helpers. Amazing! And, he did it in five minutes. He looked great and even commented that after watching the video, he finally sees some improvement.
• On Monday, I'm taking my car for us to work on car transfers with Candy. Danny is really looking forward to it. I'm just praying he's able to do it easily.
• It seems like we have a very good opportunity for childcare, but we're still working on the details. We've met her and really liked her and we're checking out her house this evening. My only hiccup is making our ends meet which leads me to my next point.
• GA Victims' Compensation Program is working on deciding how much our one lump sum benefit will be/pay out. No final decision has been made though. At least, it sounds a bit positive right? So, hopefully, we can get some cash and pay off our debt, which makes me want to vomit every month. I'd like to not have that feeling on a regular basis.
• Solar roller shades have been ordered thanks to an anonymous donation and are on their way. And, I've actually had several possible leads for people to make the cornices and install. Thanks for all your suggestions!
• Golf tournament is scheduled, online registration is up. I should have some printed brochures this week, but for now, you can register online at www.tgusa.org.
• For those of you that don't golf, but maybe enjoy a car show or bike show, our friends at Killer Creek are planning another benefit ride ending with a car and bike show. Danny will be the judge! At this point, the only detail I have is that they're planning for October 26th, the day before our wedding anniversary.
• Corbin starts school next month!
• Corbin is fabulous as always and we love him so very much. Apparently, he loves us too as he said the other morning out of the blue, "I love you guys." How cute is that?

I'm not sure how to end this today and I'm very sad. I'm ready for this chapter, this book to be over. For now, all that is over is this blog entry.